Dear Santa...

I was watching TV the other day and noticed you have a new 4G smart phone. This got me to thinking that the best way to reach you is through cyberspace. Instead of asking you for a bunch of stuff though, I wanted to congratulate you on all the incredible joy you bring us every Christmas.

This clip, captured by Norad Santa in 2008, is one of my favorites:



The Lapland sleigh is wonderfully whimsical and that fur-lined red pantsuit is a hoot. Just the sight of it makes me smile. I've seen some gorgeous "Santa" dolls all made up in white and gold but they just don't carry the same happy message.

The beard and belly really do make you look jolly too. People are way too obsessed with being thin these days. I saw you in the grocery store without the suit the other day and you definitely had a twinkle in your eye.

Mrs. Claus must've given you a honey do-list and somehow, even with all the other things you're doing, you took care of it personally. That is awesome. You are a shining example of a good man. The fact that the kids love you is a major tell.

Since you're clearly able to access other dimensions, you've probably memorized the wormhole network on the earth plane. Is that how you manage to zip in and out of everybody's house on the same night, all over the world? With that kind of map it's no wonder getting around to billions isn't a problem. Somebody caught you on video - and yet there are still skeptics. Some people won't believe no matter what you do!



A word of warning though. There's a screen over the top of the chimney to keep the critters out so please use the front door this year. You're going to love the treats on the mantle. Williams-Sonoma had some killer sweets on sale. Even the cocoa rocks, with handmade vanilla marshmallows.

So here's what I wanted to ask about. Since you're like the reindeer whisperer, I wonder if you would take a moment to have a word with my Himalayan kitty, Kira. She's been munching down on the Poinsettias and clawing the couch. A couple of words from you should straighten the little stinker right out.



Last, but not least,, since you are so well established in the realms of myth and magic, I'd be grateful if you would say hi to my parents, who have both crossed over. You'll probably find dad busy tidying up the accounting department somewhere behind the pearly gates. Tell him I wish he would give himself permission to paint. He's got real talent. You'll probably find my mom playing a round of golf in Elysian Fields. She always did prefer a private club.

Now I know I've done some naughty things over the years so when you're making your list and checking it twice, keep in mind that I'm really working on being extra nice to everybody these days - even the ones who aren't so nice back. It seems to me that we're all just doing the best we can.

Anyway, thanks for everything Santa. I love your spirit and am grateful for all the happiness you bring to us every single year.